Things I learned From Loving Him

source:www.femalenetwork.com

My greatest fear in life is neither death nor not ever finding my ideal man. Rather, it's finding the exact opposite of my ideals, living and falling madly in love with him, and casting all else aside. Some days, it's the scariest thought that keeps me awake in the wee small hours of the morning. Love is an adrenaline rush, an exhilirating roller coaster ride that makes you brave enough to dare and dream. It a wonderful experience to feel it. It brings you happiness, jealousy, sadness, excitement and every other emotion that makes you human and feel alive. Here are my two-cents worth of learnings from loving. Love has to be tested. As fire purifies gold, trials and difficulties can either strengthen the love you feel or ultimately show you that this love isn't true. It's always easy to love a person when everything between you is calm and okay. However, it is difficult to love someone when you are going through tough times. It's difficult to love a person when the world seems to pull the two of you in different directions. If you are able to rise above the challenges, with your love for each other unwavering, then consider yourself, blessed beyond measure. Love is defined by balanced exposure. You can't really be sure if love is what you feel if you're always together doing the same things. You'll know it's love if after being away from each other for some time, if after meeting different people and if after pursuing your own passions in life, and you still carry the torch for the same man or woman, that's love. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Sometimes, you need to give the other person the time and the space to think things through, to finally put the gray areas of your relationship in black and white, to hear his thoughts more clearly, and of course, to miss you. Love is acceptance. Love is not about "Superman Complex." You don't love a person because you think he needs rescuing. You can't change a person, you can only love that person enough to make him want to be a better man. Love doesn't have to feel like you're settling. It's about feeling like you've just found one of the world's greatest treasures and not wanting to exchange it for anything in the world. Someday, someone funnier, sweeter, richer, more responsible, much more charming, much more beautiful would come along. Unless you find the person you love perfect just the way he is, perfect in his own imperfection, you would never be contented and happy in this relationship. Love really begins with friendship and familiarity. I used to think that platonic relationships gone romantic, is like putting vinegar in congee. It makes something warm and comfortable, sour. I was foolish in believing that familiarity breeds contempt. I guess, I know better now. The only way to say that you truly love a person is if you know him and what better way to do it than being friends. It relieves you the pressure of being at your best all the time, of being too perfect, of being too good. No pretenses. Seeing the flaws in a person will help you asses if this is a person you see yourself growing old with, someone you think you could listen to, someone you can respect. If the love of your life is also your best friend, I think it's one of the best evidences that God does exist and looking out for you. So often, he or she has become a source of encouragement and comfort, warm feelings or a good laugh, just at the right moment. Often, talking to that person helps you hear your thoughts better and figure out the answers you need. Love is not automatic but manual. You need to work it girl! Love is tough and it needs hard work. Love is like a rose. You need to take care of it or else, it dies. You need to decide and love that person even on days when he's absolutely unlovable, on days when he absolutely drives away every drop for sanity in you, and on days when you just want the earth to swallow you alive. I guess, Love is lifetime effort. After all these learnings, it's difficult to imagine why I'm still loveless. Well, I'm only loveless, not hopeless. Love moves in mysterious ways and I truly believe that a wonderful blessings on his way to find me.